Sleep Ritual
My body has been through a lot in the last year. My healing journey feels so fragile and unknown that it has been hard for me to share what all is going on. I'm still searching for answers and on a journey or healing and acceptance. It all feels equally hopeful and scary at the same time and I'm not ready to put words and vulnerability to paper to share. One day, I hope to write a long post about all of the things, and how intense everything has gotten since I last wrote. But, until then, I'm just going to share right where I am at in the current. The reality is that all we actually have is the present moment - not the past or the future - so here it is!
At this present moment, I am working with an integrative medicine provider along with my team of western medicine doctors and ayurveda. We've identified rest and getting quality sleep as the number one priority for me to put on my oxygen mask and take care of myself. Our second priority is to identify what triggers autoimmune and stress responses in my body and how we can minimize inflammation via lifestyle. This second priority is a frustrating trigger for me because I feel like I have tried everything and every diet over the years. Carrying this trigger with me, I am also allowing for this slow, steady work and I am viewing it like I would the training for a marathon: it requires daily fuel, rest and runs to build up my endurance slowly over time in order to be ready for the race day. Mindset is everything.
My first focus: SLEEP. Sleep has been a lifelong challenge for me. As a child, I suffered from severe nightmares and was mostly terrified or resistant to going to sleep. I'd stay awake listening to the Cheers episode my parents were watching. Once they were in bed, I'd stay up for hours, late into the night, counting cars by their light shadows on my walls and listening for the next train to go by. We lived by the tracks, so there were plenty of noises to keep me entertained and cars and trains were my version of counting sheep. The only time I ever remember being able to sleep at night was when I was next to my Silvia, my grandma (who's name was actually Dorothy like mine but I always called her Silvia and she called me Gretchen).
Now that I know what fight or flight stress responses are, I can recognize that this is what I was going through as a child. My night alertness may have also been food intolerances, which I had plenty of from a young age forward. Either way, my history has certainly made me a far more understanding mom when I am woken up in the middle of the night by my littlest sleepwalker.
Over the years, I have worked hard on establishing good sleep habits, but it remains an area of my life that I have to work diligently. A lot of people are jealous of my drive and dedication to show up at the gym almost every day. Well, I am envious of others' ability to rest and sleep. We all have something, and it's my something. We're currently trying to figure out what part of this for me is due to medical issues, so stay tuned for that.
Right now, my top sleep priority is simple: to go to bed at the same time everyday and to wake up at the same time. Simple boundaries re-implemented! I know, this sounds so simple, but some nights I barely sleep and the last thing I want to do is to get up at 6am when I just fell asleep! For years, I have been diligent at turning off electronics, silencing my phone, and winding down an hour before bed, but new sleep rituals mean I am reiterating and dialing in on these small techniques.
(Click on any of the bright blue text throughout and it will take you right to each of my favorite products!)
Additionally, I have decided to make my room, even though it's a temporary room, into a spa-like retreat center. I got new sheets, a noise machine and put my other tools to use to create a more zen like, peaceful sleep environment. My diffuser flows with relaxing essential oils, and I read a book with my earbuds in. I have also found that simply practicing 15 min of Yin yoga, or doing breathwork with my legs on the wall significantly relaxes me and helps my body to fall into a much deeper sleep. Once I'm ready, I put xylitol mouth melt in and they help me with my persistent dry mouth. They take getting used to, but have helped me to not wake up from the dry mouth pain. I also tape on my mouth because this is a trick I learned in one of my favorite reads last year - Breath. It's amazing to me how this helps me not wake up to pee as often and helps with the chronic dry mouth symptoms. Finally, I put in my silicone, wax earplugs, put on my eye mask and cozy into my silk pillowcase.
Other tools I am using:
Sleep machine
The townhouse I am living in temporarily is next to a busy street and I was struggling to fall asleep with the loud mufflers.
Diffuser
I turn on my diffuser and add some calming essential oils. It creates a spa like environment.
My salt lamp
I have had a salt lamp for years, so when it turn my phone off I also go to my room and turn down the lights and turn on my salt lamp. Whatever it does, the amber like glow generates vibrations of peace for me.
Mouth tape
Taping mouths is a trial and error thing, so don’t be discouraged if it takes some time! You may find, like me, that it works wonders for you.
Sleep spray
I found this for $4.99 at TJ Maxx (who doesn’t love a good deal?!). It’s absolute magic!
Eye mask
Eye mask- this is my favorite sleep trick. Light of any kind energizes me and I feel like I can feel it’s energy. Putting this on at night, or even on car trips when I’m not driving, or even better when I camp is a game changer. I keep one in all of my bags- it’s like having an easy to access, portable set of blackout curtains!
Ear Plugs
if you want to sleep through a fire alarm, these nuggets are game changers! All kidding aside, they really do work well if you can keep them out of your hair! I prefer to only use them if my husband is home because I truly could sleep through anything with them in my ears.
